Best Friend Vs Boyfriend

For about three months now, i’ve been feeling that my best friend is uneasy about my relationship with my boyfriend. Not that she doesn’t like my boyfriend, but she misses being in a relationship herself.

 

I remember the time when i was single and two of my best friends were in long-term relationships. I wasn’t jealous but yes, i envied them. I wanted a boyfriend and not just a boyfriend but the one i had been waiting for since i was a teenager. And now that i’ve found him, this best friend of mine is drifting away from me.

 

Earlier, she said i wasn’t spending enough time with her but then i also felt that she hated being single and that’s why I being with KJ bothered her.

 

I understand how it feels to be single when your best friend is in a relationship. A few years ago, she was in a relationship and i was single. Now, it’s the other way round. And this relationship i have with KJ is not just another boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. It’s the right one. And it seems perfect so there are rarely any fights that we have that do not end in that moment or in that phone conversation. There is nothing that needs to be shared with my friends as such.

 

I always imagined how perfect it would feel when you’d meet the love of your life and then introduce him to your best friends. And your best friends would understand how important he is to you because he is what you’d been waiting for all your life. Though all my best girls have met my boyfriend and like him, but something just feels off about this one best friend.

 

This best friend of mine is somebody who likes to be in a relationship and that is what she is missing right now. And that is why she is drifting away from me because i have something she doesn’t. I feel bad that she feels that way. I feel bad when she doesn’t talk about this to me.

What My Boyfriend Thinks...

Last night my boyfriend KJ and I were playing this game where we were preparing for a compatibility quiz (Yeah right!) in case we ever enter into one. (This of course had to be my idea.) So after rounds of favourite colour, favourite song, which schools I studied in and what I considered my biggest achievement, we discussed about who my BEST friend was.

Not that he didn’t know. He does know that I have four best friends. But he wanted me to choose one out of the four so he said “She (the friend I was on a break with) is your BEST friend, right?” I said “I have four best friends.” He said “but she is your favourite, right?” I said “well, each of my best friends is unique and important to me. They are not equal. They are unique.” He said “They are not your children that you can’t pick favourites. I know you have four. But for me, she is your best friend. It is so apparent that she is your favourite. Don’t deny it.”

I tried to ‘fight’ for my other three best friends but well, he won. And there is a reason why he won, a reason why he wouldn’t believe that the other friends could be as important to me as this friend of mine is. He doesn’t hear me talk more about anybody than I do about this friend of mine. He sees me talk to this friend of mine over the phone so many times a day. I tell him about my friendship with her more than I tell him about my other friends. I email him the pictures I click with her whenever we hang out together. He knows she is my soul mate friend. Of all my best friends I fight with her the most and miss her the most.

So KJ thinks she is the one friend I love the most and therefore, she is my BEST friend. Hence, proved.

How I wish he was wrong. (Because I love all my best friends.)

Seriously, if KJ and I ever take part in a compatability quiz and my best friends come to cheer us, and when three of them don't hear their names as the answer to who my best friend is, they would be so devastated. If that happens, I am gonna ask KJ to do some damage control.

An Update: Best Friends On A Break

Even though I needed this break the most, there were times when I missed her so much. So I would end up calling her but she wouldn’t answer my call. Yesterday she left for a three-day long vacation with her family and she texted me before leaving. So I called her and everything just slipped back to normal. Perfectly normal.

 

So now I get a call from her when she is on her way to the railway station, when her train starts to move, and when she reaches her destination. We talk over the phone about the weather there, the roads and stuff. It’s normal. The way it used to be.

 

A break always works. In the case of me and my best friend, it always works in the favour of our friendship.

 

Happy and safe journey to my best friend.

Best Friends On A Break

I have this wonderful best friend whom I’ve known for the last five years. We met in undergraduation. Our friendship had seen the good and the bad sides of us, but somehow we’ve stuck together through all that. However, the one thing that I do not like about her is the fact that she gets on to me whenever I’m too busy to answer her calls. I tell her that I would return her calls as soon as I could, but when I do, she won’t answer and then she would get mad and tell me that I’ve changed.

Sometimes it’s really endearing but only to the extent I could feel ‘wanted’ by someone. But after a while, it gets annoying. Like this morning when she texted me saying that I’ve changed completely and that she does not want to speak to me again.

When you’re overwhelmed with your life, you need a personal space. A personal time. Whatever you choose to do in that time is your business. Whether you want to take a nap, or a bubble bath, or listen to music or take a walk in the park. It’s your ‘ME’ time. And you really NEED that when you are overwhelmed with work. You might not need a person at times, but you sure do need your ‘ME’ time.

Lately, I’ve been burderned with people unreasonably demanding my attention when I’m stuck in work. (And let me clear this. This is not the case of a poor balance between work and loved ones.)

Initially, it feels good to know that you’re so important in somebody’s life but then you slowly realize that they’re just being unreasonable and stubborn about it.

There’s a friend I have from college (where I’m currently studying for my post-grad degree) who gets upset everytime I speak to a classmate or another friend. It’s annoying, honestly. When people do that, it turns me off. It makes me want to go a little away from them for the moment. It completely shuts me down.

As for the best friend, I called her and she doesn’t want to speak to me. So what I’ve decided is I’ll let her be on her own for a while. (This exercise is not new for us. We’ve been through dozens of situations like this before where we’ve said we don’t want to speak to each other again but of course, we go back to being best friends!) So I’m hoping (and taking for granted) that sooner or later we’ll find our way back to each other.  
 

For now, I seriously need a break. From limitations. From friendships.