Identity

At this moment, i feel furious.

If there is one thing that drives my anger from hot to boiling, it is other people trying to 'mentor' me. In most cases, it is either my mother or my sister. At this moment, it is my sister.

You cannot decide what i should eat, how i should eat, and whether i should eat or not. You cannot tell me that i should go to that party because it would fun and a new experience. I'll decide that for myself. Thank you. How i manage my time is my decision. Whether i spend in studying or traveling or sleeping or simply wasting. Do not, i repeat, Do Not Mentor Me.

Find a different follower if you are so keen on becoming a leader. I'm not a baby.

A Teeth-Freak!

Lately I’ve realized that when people are talking to me, I have a tendency to look at their teeth. I look at what shape their teeth are, if they are crooked or have gaps between them, if their teeth are white or stained, and mostly how their teeth move when they speak. It’s quite interesting. But let me tell you, this is completely intuitive. I realize I’m staring at people’s teeth only after I’ve taken a good look at them. My eyes keep oscillating between people’s teeth and their eyes. Well, looking at people’s eyes is the best place to look at while they are talking to you, right?

 

But I wonder if they notice when I look at their teeth instead of their eyes. Who am I kidding? Of course, they do. Who wouldn’t?

 

Oh, that reminds me. There is this sex-freak in my post-grad class who, if he talks to you and if you happened to be a girl, would never look into your eyes. He would be busy aiming at your chest. He does that to female classmates and female teachers alike. Young and old female teachers alike. It’s really annoying. It’s completely disrespectful.

 

I really believe being a teeth-freak is far better than a sex-freak.

Best Friends On A Break

I have this wonderful best friend whom I’ve known for the last five years. We met in undergraduation. Our friendship had seen the good and the bad sides of us, but somehow we’ve stuck together through all that. However, the one thing that I do not like about her is the fact that she gets on to me whenever I’m too busy to answer her calls. I tell her that I would return her calls as soon as I could, but when I do, she won’t answer and then she would get mad and tell me that I’ve changed.

Sometimes it’s really endearing but only to the extent I could feel ‘wanted’ by someone. But after a while, it gets annoying. Like this morning when she texted me saying that I’ve changed completely and that she does not want to speak to me again.

When you’re overwhelmed with your life, you need a personal space. A personal time. Whatever you choose to do in that time is your business. Whether you want to take a nap, or a bubble bath, or listen to music or take a walk in the park. It’s your ‘ME’ time. And you really NEED that when you are overwhelmed with work. You might not need a person at times, but you sure do need your ‘ME’ time.

Lately, I’ve been burderned with people unreasonably demanding my attention when I’m stuck in work. (And let me clear this. This is not the case of a poor balance between work and loved ones.)

Initially, it feels good to know that you’re so important in somebody’s life but then you slowly realize that they’re just being unreasonable and stubborn about it.

There’s a friend I have from college (where I’m currently studying for my post-grad degree) who gets upset everytime I speak to a classmate or another friend. It’s annoying, honestly. When people do that, it turns me off. It makes me want to go a little away from them for the moment. It completely shuts me down.

As for the best friend, I called her and she doesn’t want to speak to me. So what I’ve decided is I’ll let her be on her own for a while. (This exercise is not new for us. We’ve been through dozens of situations like this before where we’ve said we don’t want to speak to each other again but of course, we go back to being best friends!) So I’m hoping (and taking for granted) that sooner or later we’ll find our way back to each other.  
 

For now, I seriously need a break. From limitations. From friendships.