Waiting for Adult-Life

For some reason, these days i feel like i want to finish my master’s programme as soon as possible and get a job that is satisfying and that pays well. For some reason i want to feel like an adult. I want to have a job and go home tired. Or to see KJ after work.

 

Well, these days because KJ is having his PhD classes and his new classmates are usually around him, i don’t like to be in that group. I like to spend time with KJ alone. Or at most with his friends from his master’s course (my seniors). Anyway, i told KJ that we should see each other less because i feel that i spend my entire day with him. I feel like i don’t have a life outside of him. I hang out with him on campus, talk to him on phone for so long. He is not part of my daily routine but has taken over my daily routine. Not that i don’t want to see him. I do. I feel so sad when i don’t get to see him on campus.

 

However, i would want to have some ‘me’ time. KJ, on the other hand, has it all. He is pretty good at this. He spends time with me, with his friends, with classmtes. He works. He takes his classes for the coursework in phD. But i did not have anything apart from him. This was the situation a few days ago.

 

So we talked. I told him what i was feeling. He understood and made suggestions. And i told him what i wanted. KJ is really understanding and is always there for me.

 

And now, a few days later, i feel good. I don’t feel like he has overtaken my life. I don’t feel that i don’t have a life outside of him. Like today i spent my own time on campus with my friend and classmates and then went to meet KJ. It seemed like i was meeting him after work.

 

I can’t wait to feel like an adult. And adult who is in a loving relationship. But she has a job so she works hard and before going back home in the evening; she takes time out for her boyfriend. A mature and secure relationship like that. I’m beggining to feel that i have it.