What My Boyfriend Thinks...

While talking to my boyfriend KJ a few nights ago, I got to know something that I did not know before or even think of before. We were talking about religion. We weren’t arguing about religion. We were just talking. And we talk about it often. We are always on the same side when it comes to religion.

 

If I were to say that I belong to a particular religious culture because my parents follow that religion, then in that case my ‘religion’ is different from that of KJ’s. So basically, what I’m trying to say here is that my boyfriend and I are from different religions.

 

However, we do not follow those religions. I believe there is a God but that is my God. That God is not part of any religion. So I have no religion even if my parents do, or even if I was born into a certain religious community. I like to think of myself as religion-less. Because I don’t want religion.

 

KJ believes in a creator. But again, he doesn’t follow the religion he was born into.

 

We have been that way for so long now. We have been that way even before we met. So when we met it was amazing that two people could have the same thoughts about a thing as delicate as religion.

 

So, KJ knows my thoughts about religion and I know about his. But last night I got to know something so surprising, so beautiful about him, about what he thinks of me.

 

He said that he does believe there is a creator and like every belief, this one is blind too. But he doesn’t deny that creator. He believes there is one. But he doesn’t love that creator. He said “I cannot love something just because it created me. Love has to happen on its own.” I agreed. He believes as human beings we can love ‘completely’ only another human being. Not a thing, not an animal, not the creator. Complete love can be only for another human being.

 

I agreed.

 

And then he said something amazing. He said that he doesn’t worship the creator because worship is born out of love. Worship is nothing but love, affection, admiration, and fondness. And the object of worship is God. So the person he would love completely will be the person he would worship. So that person will be his God. And then he said, “Right now, you are my God. I worship you.”

 

I was surprised. I was happy. I never thought somebody would ever say something like that to me.

 

Since my teenage years, I believed that the person I would love would be the most important person to me. Nobody would match up to that person’s importance in my life. Not my parents, not my sibling, not my best friends, not even my custom-made God. I always wanted to believe I would find that person and give me the same importance in his life. I always wanted to believe that. But I never ever knew that it could actually come true.

 

And here I have this amazing person in my life who tells me why for him the creator and God are different. And then tells me that I’m his God.

 

Sometimes I think how impossible it was to find a person like him. And at other times, I think how easily we have merged into each other. How easily possible it was for somebody like that to exist in this world, how easily possible it was for me to find that somebody. Sometimes it seems so unbelievable that I feel I must have been really very lucky. And then, at other times I feel, we were meant to be so even though I’d always feared if I could ever find true love or not, but that fear could not change what I was destined for.

 

Like they say, we all find our share of love in this world.

 

I’m so happy I’ve found him. He was my biggest wish and he came true. He was my most silent wish. Nobody knew about him. I never shared with even with my best friends what kinda guy I wanted. He was my secretest wish. And he came true. We met. How unlikely it would have been for us to meet if he and I hadn’t chosen to study in this university. It’s amazing to know that about four years ago we were miles apart. Though we are from the same country but he lived most of his life outside. Only four years he came back. I didn’t know him four years ago. I have known him for just over a year.

 

But we feel we’ve known each other for so long now. Sometimes I don’t even remember the times of my life when he wasn’t in it.

 

With all my heart I feel that our souls are made up of the same pieces.

 

It’s blissful to know that somebody loves you the way you want to be loved and in ways you never thought you could be loved. And it’s not just ‘somebody’; it’s that one person you love with all your heart.

 

PS: I know they say judge a partner by their actions and not their words. My last relationship was based on words. No actions but words. It was meant to be broken. I saw it fall before it actually did. But KJ, I know him inside out. I’ve heard his words and I’ve seen his actions. His words mean so much to me because his actions came before his words. I know and appreciate what he does for me. His words are born out of his actions.