Move Out

I will leave this house at the first opportunity that i would get. I love my parents and my sister but i cannot live with them anymore. I never thought i would want to leave but now i do. Love cannot make me stay. I don't hate them. But i resent them sometimes and i cannot live here because it makes me want to scream. I don't have peace of mind here. My family protects me, loves me and takes care of me but i don't want to live here anymore.

 

I thought the first person to get out of here would be my sister but now i can see that it would be me.

 

I am sick of living with depressed and irritated people who hate each other and grumble, and cannot try to live happily. This family has had too much of my patience. I will be quiet from now on and then leave at the first opportunity i get.

 

I am not anybody's assistant. I am not a mediator. I am a person who has her own life and her share of things to do and problems to solve.

 

I would leave. Marry KJ and leave. Or Leave and marry KJ.

Deadlines

I’ve got like about seven days before the deadline for submitting three of my class assignments. And I am procrastinating. I haven’t started working on either of them and then there is this Test coming up the day after tomorrow. I am clueless about why my brain is not functioning, why it is not able to be in control of things.

 

Post-graduation is sometimes overwhelming. Though I like my subjects and the themes I’ve chosen to work on for the assignments is of my interest but my mind doesn’t allow me to work. Falling ill, of course, was not part of the plan.

 

I don’t understand how I am gonna pull things together. How am I supposed to prepare nine topics for the test I have the day after? How am I supposed to finish reading two books this week so that I write a review for each as part of one of my assignments that is due next week? (Out of the two books, I just have one with me right now. And that is the ebook that is giving me constant headache.) How am I supposed to write two more assignments due next week?

 

25% of my scores this semester are dependent on these tests and assignments. God knows why I am messing this up.

 

I am in a crisis. I am in a deadline crisis. This is serious.

Weekend, What’s Wrong With You?

This is really sad. Almost everyone who is dear to me is sick this weekend. My parents, my sister, and my  boyfriend. And me too.

 

I was looking forward to this weekend because lately I had been overwhelmed with class assignments, preparing for tests and lots of class work. So I had thought this weekend would be a great time to catch up on classwork and get my pending work finsihed.

 

However, things haven’t turned out quite well for me.

 

When you’re unwell, you don’t want to get out of your bed but you also hate being in the same clothes, you hate being not able to take a shower, you hate your room that has been turned upside-down for a while now. So you gather some courage to get out of your bed, take a bath, and have your breakfast but you commit a very seductive sin. You choose to watch TV.

 

Television makes me numb. It makes me paralyzed. It gives me a headache and it makes me want to sleep. It makes me lazy and I lose track of time. Watching television when I am sick makes me feel like a patient. My mind shuts down while my eyes are fixed on the screen.

 

I messed up my weekends by falling ill and then by watching television instead of studying.

 

It was a bad weekend. It made my loved ones fall ill. Seriously, what’s wrong with this weekend?